BREXIT (and other things that can just fuck off)

by Bradders: Nasty Woman


Article 50 has been triggered, and now we’re in a whole pile of NOPE.


I suppose I was hoping against hope that this was a Hollywood movie, in which some plucky hero would rise up and stop the bus from careening off the edge of the cliff and save the day. Because we’re the bus. And Europe is the cliff. D’ya geddit?! Huh? DO YOU???


But no, because “Brexit means Brexit!”. A phrase that literally means nothing, but which Theresa May has taken to mean she has carte-pissing-blanche when it comes to the UK’s best interests. One might have thought that Sturgeon’s renewed efforts to secure Scottish independence following the EU referendum would have given May pause, but no. ONWARD! Death or Glory! It’s the will of the people! All this in spite of the fact that NO ONE KNOWS WHAT BREXIT ACTUALLY MEANS! Will we have access to the single market? What about freedom of movement? Are EU citizens currently living here safe from deportation? Which human rights are we going to lose? NOBODY KNOWS! Hurrah!


But it’s not all doom and gloom (oh no wait, I lied, it is) – here are some other things that are completely and utterly NOPE:


Trump signs executive order undoing Obama’s climate change policies!

Under the guise of creating American jobs for American people, Trump has lifted restrictions on coal mining. President *gag* Trump seems committed to withdrawing from the Paris Agreement, thus condemning the planet to a future of droughts, floods, rising sea levels, and food shortages. Yeah! You go, Trumpy-boy! Carpe the living Hell outta that diem! Who cares if you’re condemning future generations to a slow death? You won’t be around to see it!


Man beats his wife with a cricket bat and forces her to drink bleach, but goes scot-free!

Look bro, I know your cricket career is important and all, but YOU BEAT YOUR WIFE TO SHIT WITH YOUR OWN SPORTS EQUIPMENT. That sort of thing is ok exactly none of the time. And yet, according to Manchester Crown Court, that sort of thing actually is ok because 1) you have some sports to get back to, and 2) your wife was too intelligent to be considered ‘vulnerable’. What? Just… WHAT? Since when has the intelligence of the victim been a viable defence for GBH? This is the mental equivalent of asking the victim of a sexual assault “but what were you wearing?”. So much nope.


We care more about our female politicians’ legs than we do about their policies!

Ok, loathed as I am to side with May on just about anything, I can’t help but bang my head repeatedly on the desk in solidarity following the ‘Legs-it‘ Daily Fail article. Maybe I’m being radical here, but I give exactly no fucks about what Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon are wearing; what their legs look like; how much make-up they have on; or ANYTHING that isn’t relevant to their actual jobs. Call it ‘good-natured fun’ if you like, but this narrative of “ooh, what are they wearing today?!” that’s gleefully aimed solely at female politicians (or female lawyers, or female anythings) is genuinely harmful and prevents women from being taken seriously. Not that I expected anything other than utter douche-baggery from the Daily Mail…


Black and Latino teenage girls are being taken for sex trafficking in D.C.

There is absolutely no way I’m putting an exclamation mark on this one. Sex traffickers operating in the corridor between Baltimore and D.C. have been targeting Black and Latino teenagers and children (mainly girls), with as many as 10 having disappeared in the last two weeks. Shockingly, this isn’t even a new story – investigations have been going on since 2012 – but due to the Metropolitan Police Department’s efforts to improve communication, people are beginning to take note, and they’re rightly up in arms. People are demanding to know what’s being done to protect their children, but the response is often to dismiss the missing as runaways, and all the while more girls vanish. I can’t help but wonder whether authorities would have taken this more seriously if the girls in question had been White. Except – hang on – yes of course they would have taken it more seriously, because this is the very definition of institutionalized racism.


Emma Watson in Beauty and the Beast.

Just NOPE.


So there you have it – the world’s on fire, and Brexit isn’t even half of the problem. I’m off for a lie down in a dark room…

About Bradders 10 Articles
Bradders is a London-based actor, podcaster, and bad vegetarian. Her life's mission is to siphon off the roles traditionally played by Carey Mulligan, Keira Knightley, and Felicity Jones; dismantle the imperialist, white-supremacist, capitalist, ableist, hetero-patriarchy; and seduce Alexander Skarsgard (but not necessarily in that order). Hobbies include: wine, Pilates, being a feminasty kill-joy, and more wine. For more information, please listen to the Queens of the Hungle podcast, which Bradders co-presents with fellow New Establishment writer, Georgie Morrell.

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