This Week – A Funny Look Back At The Last 7 Days

This week I’ll be covering Doctor Who, the BBC releasing the salaries of their top stars and what’s happened in the US. As ever if you enjoy then please spread the word of The New Establishment and this column.

Doctor Who

Doctor Who announced that the new doctor will be played by Jodie Whittaker who you might have heard is female. I personally thought this was great news (although I still won’t watch it) and wondered why it had taken so long for there to be a female lead. But this wasn’t everybody’s opinion with some people being far from happy with this casting decision. They can accept a Doctor flying through space and time in a police box and never once suffering with jet lag but for this Doctor to be a woman, well that is a step too far. Some of the angry comments left by people have been a source of much amusement for me, I’ll list a few of my favourites here for you:

Orpheus0013: ‘A LOT have now cancelled their TV licences due to this so good luck’. To be fair I have also cancelled my TV licence following a recasting but this was when Anton Du Beke replaced Dale Winton as host of ‘Hole in the Wall’.

@hucksworld: ‘Doctor Who died today. He didn’t die as nobly as you might expect. He was murdered by political correctness’. I can just picture the scene now. He confronts a Dalek who is blocking their only escape. The Doctor says to his assistant ‘how are we going to get past him’. And the Dalek replies ‘did you just assume my gender?’. The Doctor then starts to panic whilst sweat begins to drip from her entire body as she has found herself caught in a PC pretzel. She is unable to overcome this shame, finally death ends this torture – the Doctor, murdered by political correctness.

@brendanmcgra7: ‘How can the doctor use a sonic screwdriver now, she’s a lady #nursewho #soniclipstick’. Well sonic lipstick is just a ridiculous idea, you might burn a hole in your face every time you use it. I also wonder if this person has their mind blown whenever they see a male nurse.

@RogerHelmerMEP: ‘Doctor Who to regenerate as a woman. Maybe next time as a golden retriever’. Well obviously because a golden retriever wouldn’t be able to reach the handle to open the Tardis.

US News

R Kelly has denied claims that he kept women in a ‘cult’ and had be ‘brainwashing’ them. If this does prove to be true then luckily he never let this aspect of his life influence his songs otherwise the lyrics to ignition could have been very different:

This is the remix to ignition,

unlawful cult edition.

I’m being accused of brainwashing girls,

don’t even ask their permission.

 

Touring companies in North Korea have reported that the US is banning people from visiting the country. The official announcement for this is expected to be on the 27 July and is sure to be met with waves of disappointment as thousands of families may have to cancel their summer holiday plans. The Center Parcs in Pyongyang may have to settle for a disappointing year. I’m thinking the UK should try a similar idea but banning all traveling to South-East Asia and then that way everyone can relax knowing that the ‘gap year’ stories will come to an end.

Justin Bieber has been told that he cannot perform in Beijing due to ‘bad behaviour’ to which he replied ‘what do you mean?’ before asking ‘is it too late now to say sorry?’. Unfortunately, the answer was still no but Bieber’s officials have said ‘never say never’.

UK News

In other UK news, the BBC have published the earnings of their highest paid stars and quite unbelievably Chris Evans is the highest paid. This is like finding out that the highest paid actor in ‘Friends’ is Gunther. I’m not saying that the Chris Evans isn’t talented but he did make people miss James May when he was hosting ‘Top Gear’. Gary Barlow is also paid a considerable sum by the BBC for his appearance on ‘Let it Shine’. This sum was between £200,000 and £250,000 which after tax is still £200,000 and £250,000 for Mr Barlow. These salaries did reveal a rather large gender pay gap so you think the solution to this would be to increase the pay of the female stars? Um no, that’s not the solution they’re going with. The BBC have said that to solve this, male stars may have a pay cut. This seems a roundabout way of bringing equality. Equality is brought about raising the oppressed, not by lowering the privileged to the level of the oppressed. It would be the equivalent of police in America starting to shoot innocent white people in a bid to appear less racist.

The Prime Minister is to take a three week walking holiday in the Alps with her husband. Three whole weeks! Snap elections have been competed in less time. Hopefully she will get used to the high altitude where the oxygen is as thin as her chances of still being Prime Minister come Christmas. I’m hoping that on this trip she has a bit of a spiritual awakening and ‘finds herself’. On her return, I want her to walk into parliament, hair braded, and tell Jeremy Corbyn how he needs to ‘chill out’ on Britain’s foreign policy whilst she strums ‘Three Little Birds’ on her guitar.

Have a good week everyone,

George x

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