All I want for Christmas…. is the NHS not to get privatised!

 

So, my final blog of 2016 for The New Establishment and what a year it has been!  We will be relaunching in January 2017 with an exciting group of new writers and cannot wait!

 

Before I sign off the year, don’t worry, this isn’t some run down of all the celebrity deaths and atrocities on this rather cursed year.   Social media is awash with statuses and tweets glad that 2016 will soon be behind us.  They also appear to have great hopes that 2017 will be amazing and we’ll all hold hands and sing.  I admire their optimism and don’t want them to lose that.  However, and I’m sorry to say this guys, all the shit of 2016 will be coming with us into 2017.  Fact. May’s government will still be taking a shit over everything we hold dear from the NHS, to benefits whilst badly negotiating us out the EU when in truth, none of us want to leave.  We ARE stuck with Trump for another 4 years and celebrities we admire will continue to be taken from us before their time.  Aleppo will still be a disaster, refugees will still be displaced and terror atrocities may just continue as we have so recently seen in Berlin.  Our prayers and thoughts are with the victims families.  However,  I am a positive Polly and as I have long said we must continue to fight the good fight because it’s going to get worse before it gets better.  Continue to get involved in the bigger problems, keep talking and debating,  perhaps support  a charity or cause,  go on a march or just tweet to inspire debate, or even better, inspire change.  

‘But Georgie what can little old you do? Apart from continue to be hilarious with exceptional sex appeal.’

Well apart from that, I thought I’d  write a letter, no not to Santa, I don’t do that anymore, but to our Prime Minister Theresa May in one last ditch attempt to try get her to reconsider some of the decisions she is making….obviously one that affects me though! Bare with, this isn’t as selfish as I usually am!

I cannot stop terrorism, I cannot take in all the refugee children, I cannot overturn a government.  But I can write a heartfelt, human interest story that is slightly inspiring but also totally self involved.  So I will do what I have always been good at.  Turning things around and making them about me!  A talent I have perfected over the last 29 years….

One thing I want for Christmas, is to still have the NHS by Christmas next year.  By the way, before I crack on, for anyone unfamiliar with the immediate demise of the NHS under May’s government, here’s a quick re-cap. Cameron’s government, I know I forgot about him too,  wanted to revised it and so does May.  She has never denied this and will most likely implement it as soon as Brexit is done.  We will have to pay for healthcare.  It will not be a free service.  If you want proof – during Trump’s presidential debate, Richard Branson brought up a massive chunk of it. Fact. Do you know what Branson likes? Money!

So here is my X Factor style sob story to May that would make an ITV producer Jizz his pants in an attempt to connect with you personally and see what making the NHS privatised would do to me and therefore all those who can’t afford it if you make it private…..

 

Dear Prime Minister Theresa May,

 

I know we haven’t seen eye to eye since you became our prime minister by default- I mean you became prime minister totally fairly and not because one candidate was a Judas and another couldn’t keep her gob shut.  Yes May! Thats right!  It’s personal now!  You have been pissing me off for ages but now I’m bringing out the big guns.  If this story doesn’t make you want to keep the NHS a public owned body then nothing will and you’re officially a vampire who really does feed off the blood of refugee babies and hangs from the roof of the House Of Commons like  a bat. If you see how your decisions affect little adorable me, an individual, maybe it will melt your stone cold heart so 2017 doesn’t suck quite as much!  

I naively gave Cameron the benefit of the doubt because I honestly didn’t think he would’ve gone through with privatisation of the NHS which seeing as he U-turned EVERYTHING, and I enjoyed calling him Shiny Face Cameroon, but you May had the chance to get rid of Jeremy Hunt and you DIDN’T.  That’s why I believe you are determined to dismantle, cripple and desecrate over my NHS and I strongly believe as result, you have no soul.  That’s strike one.

My worry stands and I beg you to just admit it, that you want to it to crumble.  The NHS needs more money and you refused their request.  You are bringing in more and more paperwork slowing down its service and lengthening its waiting list.  You can’t pull the wool over my one eye May! From where I stand you want it to fail as a public owned body.  You want it to continue to have long waiting lists and slow service so you can sell us that privatisation is the only option and sell it off bit by bit.  Your PR tactics are clever but you don’t fool me.  The money is there and without a shadow of a doubt the NHS should get priority. People will believe you too.  They will support privatisation because they think that’s how it will be fixed.  You have tools so powerful and the press in your pockets.  If we learnt anything from Brexit it’s that people believe what they read! Please don’t abuse that fact anymore than Cameron already did.  It’s not coincidence that Rebekah Brooks and David Cameron were so buddy buddy.  

Let me tell you my story Mrs May.  If you see how important the NHS is to the individual maybe you will see the bigger picture…..

I owe the NHS everything.  I am nothing without it. The NHS diagnosed me at 3 years old with arthritis  and the reason I am not in a wheelchair is the quick treatment from the doctors who are the epicentre of the NHS.  Brilliant men and women you’re allowing your Health secretary to push around.  It’s not just the medical care but their exceptional kindness they showed to a three year old and her terrified parents. My care and medicines were carefully arranged and thought out so I could have a normal childhood.  They did things I didn’t like.  Splints at night when you’re six years old so my legs wouldn’t be crooked.  I didn’t like it then but now I have great legs and couldn’t be more grateful.   

My treatment continued at specialist clinics when I was later diagnosed with Glaucoma Uveitis.  They worked tirelessly to save my eyesight.  They could only save one and I do not blame them for that. They did everything they could and within the means of a great and healthy funded NHS. I went blind 8 years ago and they restored it. They actually gave me the gift of sight back.  Mind blown! Doctors and nurses without hesitation operated on me and gave me my sight back. They did the impossible. They healed my blistered cornea when I was in agony.  They removed stitches from my eye.  They monitored me every 6 months. This was all for free.

I get  monthly blood tests to ensure my liver is monitored for the drugs prescribed by my consultant rheumatologist who is a doctor of the NHS.   The NHS is the dozens of eye doctors who have treated and kept my sight going and pain levels down.  The same doctors who have reassured me or joked with me to keep me from a minor breakdown when I had to hear bad news again.  It is the nurses who held my hair back after I vomited because i always vomit after a general antithetical.  It’s the anesthetists who calculated the best anti-sickness drugs and who tried so hard to make sure I didn’t throw up but lose to my sensitive tum tum. I appreciate the effort guys!

It’s not just the eyes.  It’s the doctors who prevented cells on my cervix turning to cancer.  It is the mammogram that caught my mother’s breast cancer early and she is now on her way to a full recovery. My brother on the NHs was cut up and put back together as a child, thus saving his life. He’s fine now, but if you saw him you wouldn’t think a thing had ever been wrong with him. That’s thanks to them. It’s Moorfield A&E service that look after my one eye whenever there’s a slight pain or tickle and they very kindly absorb my paranoia.  I have never had to receive private health care.  Not once.

It’s one of the few left public owned models that is overworked, underpaid and badly resourced.  The NHS is Me but  it’s is also US.  All of us.   It is the jewel in this country crown and must be fiercely fought for and nurtured.  I find it unfathomable that you want it to fall apart and become a ‘’business’ or private company but I’m sad to say I can see it happening.  I can see the crack appearing in my 27 years as one of its top users.   Waiting times are longer, staff are overworked.  More letters need typing, appointments are being pushed back.  Yet you have found a way to not take responsibility for this and will somehow use you clever PR tactics to look like you have saved the day when it was really you who broke it in the first place.  You are currently winning and we the public, those who need and love the NHS are losing. But it’s 2017 and it’s time to make some changes because I will be fucked if i’m writing you another letter in a year’s time!

If you privatize I and many others will have to pay for healthcare or take jobs that provide insurance.  We can’t afford this.  Maybe those are jobs we don’t want.  But May, look at my 27 years of medical history…no insurance company in the world will give me medical insurance at a  reasonable amount.  Certainly not better at the tiny amount I pay of NI to support the NHS.

 

If  I have to visit you like Scrooge and the three ghosts May I will!  But I’m busy and really can’t spare the time!  I don’t envy your job.  I don’t envy the decisions you make but this one is simple.  Give the NHS the funding it needs and that’s a start.  You have the power to do the right thing.  I feel like I should say a nice thing to you so we don’t have too much bad blood between us….I’m thinking….I liked the hat you wore to armistice day ceremony….it was a strong look.

 

Merry Christmas Prime Minister.

 

Yours sexily,

 

Georgie

 

xx

 

Our trump card is still ours and we must fight! They haven’t taken it yet.   Read through the bullshit, support  press thats wants the NHS to remain ours and think before every political decision you make.  We are a country in great debt but it can’t be that bad to sell our prize possessions like a drug addict pawning their mother’s jewellery.    I will say this year about 2016, enjoy Christmas!!!  Go get fucked up, have sex and hold your loved ones because if we don’t, we’ll never get through 2017!!!

 

If you disagree with any of this please please tweet us and let The New Establishment know your thoughts.  We want debate whether we agree or not because that’s what 2017 needs to be about.

 

Merry Christmas from all of us at The New Establishment.

xxxxx

Georgie Morrell’s show A Poke in the Eye will be at Leicester Comedy Festival 23d and 25th February.

Check out her recent article for RNIB #howisee campaign-https://www.rnib.org.uk/rnibconnect/young-people-families/Comedian-Georgie-on-blindness

Follow me @georgiepokeeye

Georgie’s latest episode of her podcast, Queens of the Hungle-https://soundcloud.com/user-33667106/7-christmas-in-the-hungle

 

About Georgie Morrell 22 Articles
Georgie Morrell is an comedian and writer. I do my One Woman show A Poke in the Eye. I also do improv, sketch stand up and a bit of acting. I have written for RNIB's Insight magazine, RLSB's blog and Ideastap.

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