While the country works out Brexit, Philip Green proves himself to be an even bigger twat than I ever thought possible, the general public rampages parks, churches and funeral services, yes funerals to catch Pokemon, I am running off to Edinburgh Fringe Festival. As you may have heard me mention, and you would have to be deaf and blind not to #eyerony, I have my début, full-length stand-up show A Poke in the Eye hitting Edinburgh Fringe.
‘But George what’s the Edinburgh Fringe Festival?’ Don’t worry-I will tell you! It’s a massive comedy festival in Edinburgh. You have to do it if you want to go into comedy. It’s a right of passage. An unwritten law if you will. It’s also a bloody good way to get out of London over August. It’s tumbleweed this time of year!
Yes, I’m going to forget the carnage this world has become in the last few months, despite some of it being comedy gold, and run off to live the dream. Or is it? Do I really know what I have let myself in for? This is, in fact, my first Edinburgh Fringe as a performer, and my god, it’s been hard work so far and we haven’t even got there! In fact, I write this whilst car passenger to the brilliant Victoria Jeffrey my Edinburgh flat-mate, (see her show Dancing with Jack @ The Space), making the epic pilgrimage by car to the mecca of comedy. I am in charge of car banter and am nailing it might I add! Although she wins when has asks which member of One Direction I would fuck. Not sleep with, fuck. Our car is packed tighter than Thelma and Louise’s and has thus far provided us with a smooth and clear journey to the highlands but it hasn’t been clean sailing all the way.
Might I say first, for the record, that I have enjoyed the past few months immensely? I have to watch my career take some sort of shape for the first time since drama school, never got more pleasure from my work and being in comedy. However it has not been easy but as I say in my show, ‘Nothing in life worth having ever came easily.’
Before I even packed my bags, it has been 7 months of planning. Please see below how my packing looked at 10pm the night before we were due to leave!
I was just hoping it would all sort itself out…It didn’t.
This has included seven previews, some great, some not so great. One rather sad preview that springs to mind is when I performed my show to 3 people. Yes, three! All of them I knew, and for the record are legends for coming AND staying! Additional stand up gigs too to try out material, some great, some fucking abysmal! The worst gig was when I was just getting into my set, it was a charity event, and four small children with their mothers arrived taking the front row. Know one told me children would be here!
‘But what’s the problem with kids, George?’ There annoying and I don’t like them but that’s the point! The problem with them at my gigs is I use phrases in my sets like, Sit on the face of my hot doctors, and Get fucked! I’m blind. I had to do a three second revamp in my head of my set that was fit for children’s ears. One for the memoirs, though! All part of the process as I’m told! Is it?!! Is it really?!!
I did a charity auction for some extra money to pay my London rent whilst I’m away and I was essentially the court jester to over a hundred rich twenty something’s and there even rich, even more awful, rich parents. It was so demoralising and not one of them could have given a shit about the dying children we were raising money for! I was essentially hired to give the lads something to look at and for the women to treat like a dancing monkey! But fuck ‘em! I’m a hundred quid richer and I’m off to Edinburgh! To make my mark! To live the dream! Am I though?
There was also the Kick-starter because I’m sorry to say that Edinburgh is basically un- fundable and is the only way to support it. And I already sold a kidney for Drama school and drug deal to pay my rent. Only joking…maybe…Anyway, I would like to quickly thank everyone who donated to my Kickstarter or shared it on FB or tweeted it. You are ridiculously cool and your generosity will not go unforgotten when I rule the world!
It’s the little things though that drive you nuts and can quite easily send you under. The technical elements to my show, which were minimal, I quickly took out because apparently, ‘I found them too stressful.’ This is the closest I have had to a proper diva fit and it was not pretty. I turned the air blue whilst trying to use Q Lab. If another person says how easy it is to use I won’t be responsible for my actions! #punchinthethroat.
My real meltdown started about two weeks ago when it actually dawned on me what I was undertaking. Taking a show to Edinburgh is not to be taken likely and like I said, I’m not even there yet. It’s going to get harder! What sent me over the edge was buying a pair of hiker boots. I needed some boots for the Edinburgh flyering. So far, so easy. I used a popular online retailer, for now, let’s just call them HooBoo.com. So far, so simple. Until they arrived and I shortly realised they had sent me two left feet. I don’t have two left feet by the way. I snapped. I just could not take one more annoying job to do! Not only did I send them a filthy email but cried because I was so tired and terrified about putting my show, my jokes, my ability as a new comic and more importantly my story on the ultimate comedy platform for the world to see. Then I got over it because there are real problems in the world and what I do for a living is awesome. It won’t make me rich and my show could flop and be a disaster, but my god I wouldn’t change the pleasure of those few good previews, gigs and nice tweets people make for any job in the world. Except maybe as David Gandy’s freckle inspector. I would lay him out and count them all out!!!
Ask me when I’m done if it was worth it because right now I’m just glad to escape. Whatever the outcome. It has felt, for me, like the last days of Rome in recent months. The country feels like it’s on the precipice of something big and unknown and now is the time to do whatever the ruddy hell you want. So it may not be Rome, it may just be Edinburgh but if this is the end, then I would like to spend it here doing the only thing I know how to and indulging in my comedy dream with thousands more. To those of you who can’t join me here-do the same! Drink, fuck, get in trouble because this world is a little bit screwed at mo and unless you want to join the thousands playing Pokemon Go to escape the harsh realities of this planet then go out and get silly for me cause that’s what I’ll be doing! Literally, it’s my job!
I already am booked into to see so many shows which I have no doubt will be terrific and will be seeing much more! I look forward to reporting on the antics as and when they happen so please as always, keep an ‘Eye’ out! #eyerony.
I can tell you from their previews to defiantly see the following: Anything by The Soho Theatre Young Company, Katie Brennan in Quarter Life Crisis, Victoria Jeffrey’s Dancing with Jack @ The Space, Villain @ Underbelly, Dracula @ The Pleasance, Naomi Petersen @ The Pleasance, Angus Dunican @ Gilded Balloon and many more to come!
Georgie Morrell is performing A Poke in the Eye at Just The Tonic the Caves-Just the Spare Room for Edinburgh Fringe Festival 4th-28th @ 1pm.
Tickets available- @ https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/poke-in-the-eye