For those who are struggling with self-image
I struggled throughout my late teens and 20’s with my self-image and/or body-image. The disgust for my body became detrimental to my physical and mental health. I would stand in front of a mirror and repeat ‘you’re fat and ugly’ and ‘Who would ever love you?’ It took me a long time to realize that the only person who needed to love me was me. The greatest discovery I have ever made was to love oneself.
When I turned 30, I decided enough was enough! I was going to start living a positive and healthy lifestyle! The first thing I needed to do was work out what triggered the negative feelings. I remove myself from negative situations, work environments and passive aggressive ‘friends’. It was only then I could start the healing process. Throughout my life I had aligned myself with people who would constantly in a joking manner put me down. I found removing myself from the negative situations and jobs was easy. Standing up for myself, with my so called friends was the hard part. I stopped laughing off a mean ‘joke’ but ask them to stop making them. I stopped blindly going along with their suggestions but ask them to compromise on where we would meet up or what we did. Arguments occurred and they came to the conclusion they did not want to be my friend anymore. I now have a small circle of amazing and supportive friends who I dearly love and respect.
The hardest thing I found for someone who doesn’t like themselves is to look in the mirror. You have to actually train yourself to see your positive attributes. Start out small, I started with my eyes, telling myself that I loved my eyes until I believed it. Once you truly do accept/love that body part move onto the next and then the next. Now I look in the mirror and I instantly see things I like about myself. Believe me, I am far from thinking I am perfect! I constantly glance at my abdominal area and start to berate myself but I am quick to stop, I then look at something about myself I like and give myself a compliment along the lines of, ‘look at them thigh muscles’. It is the perception of ourselves to ourselves that we need to change.
The media doesn’t help. The internet is inundated with society’s idea of perfection and we are all struggling to keep up.
Take these two photos I took seconds apart. The first photo I am doe eyed and my arm seems skinny! The second one is the poster child for why you should never pick spots! That’s right people, I went all Quentin Tarantino on that suckers and it got infected. There really is two side to every photo we see online. Be inspired by athlete and celebrities but remember they’re not perfect, no one is. Love your imperfection. Just to be clear I’m talking about imperfections like how I think my nose is a little wide or my hips were created to carry a gaggle of children not my Quentin Tarantino spot, that fucker can go!
By learning to love myself I have found myself on a positive life path.
But remember no one is perfect and we all slip up. If you do have a moment, don’t beat yourself up about it, learn from it. Just last week I read a comment on a Facebook status I had posted. Now the comment was seemingly innocent but knowing this persons views on certain subjects I knew the comment had a pretext towards race. I should have just ignored it but I just woke up and I didn’t even considered what I was writing or the effect it would have. I told the person not to post comments that were made with racist intent on my profile. The person deleted me, my mother and my sister. Deleting me I understand, sure I called them racist, fair enough. My mother and sister had nothing to do with my comment or views. I had let my negative side loose and it had negative connotations, not just for me but for others that I love.
We are energy and we attract the energy we create! Be positive because positive people lead positive lives. Come on, do it! Be one of them annoying positive people, you’ll love it! 😉