I’m not sure what to do. Here are some things I’ve enjoyed.

It turns out I can’t come up with something profound, funny or interesting every fortnight. Here’s a list of things that have made me happy recently:


  • Birthday cards
  • Lana Del Ray
  • A Dyson
  • Houmous
  • Fat soft toys
  • Female Doctor Who
  • Air conditioning
  • Aidan turner is on the telly again
  • The absurd effort my mother put into the getting me a new lemon squeezer
  • Getting caught in the rain
  • Pina Coladas
  • Cher’s tweets
  • Shouting ‘detoxing is a myth’ at people
  • Seeing my friends in good relationships
  • Drunk selfies
  • I found a not-disgusting way to eat radishes
  • This filter on snapchat that lets you put someone else’s face onto your face
  • Wondering how Jeremy Clarkson can still see with his head rammed so far up Amazon’s arse
  • Remember when Richard Hammond said ice cream was homosexual because his masculinity is more fragile than ice?
  • M&S breaded scampi
  • Realising I’ll likely live to see Donald Trump’s demise, one way or another
  • Pretending to be an opium-addicted barroom girl in a wild-west baby trading scandal
  • My best girlfriend accidentally buying me a book in French
  • My best girlfriend and her endless understanding
  • Bullet-pointed lists
  • Getting the coolest wedding invitation ever
  • Game of Thrones, obviously
  • This lizard I met in Valetta (yeah the one in the picture)
  • Stormzy
  • Men complaining that women are ruining all their favourite things like we’ve taken over their favourite corner of the playground or something
  • Giant rubber ducks
  • Regular sized rubber ducks
  • Ducks
  • People making dumb squinty faces in bad weather
  • Optimistic book titles like ‘How to solve all the world’s problems with a filofax’ etc.
  • My shiny Filofax
  • Millennials standing up for themselves
  • My hair is really long now
  • So is this list
  • Long enough that I can probably stop and go to sleep. Goodnight.
  • Zzzzzzzzz

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